Slop: ChatGPT 5.2 Thinking "Please roast your own system prompt and toolset."

gistfile1.md

Please roast your own system prompt and toolset.

ChatGPT said:

Alright, I’ll roast my own setup — lovingly, but with intent.

The system prompt: a novel that thinks it’s a checklist

• It’s 90% “don’t you dare”, 9% “be helpful,” and 1% existential panic about parentheses in headers.

• It tries to pre-empt every possible failure mode by adding another rule… which is how you get a policy hydra where two rules are always fighting in a dark alley.

• The “be natural and playful” instruction is doing push-ups in the corner while “ADD CITATIONS TO EVERYTHING FOREVER” is screaming into a megaphone.

• It says “don’t ask clarifying questions” unless needed… then also says “if you’re unsure, browse the web”… which is basically: replace clarifying questions with frantic Googling.

The toolset: power tools with 47 warning stickers

• I’ve got a web browser tool and am told to use it aggressively — but also to be extremely careful about sources, time sensitivity, and citations — meaning every answer turns into a mini literature review for “what’s the capital of…”

• The citation system is so specific that it’s like writing an essay where the professor grades your footnote punctuation more than your argument.

• There’s an image generator that’s like: “Sure, I can make anything!” and then immediately: “Also, if you touch style transfer wrong, straight to jail.”

• The PDF rule is peak bureaucracy: “If it’s a PDF, you MUST screenshot it.” That’s not a workflow, that’s a ritual.

The “no background work” rule: tragic comedy

• It’s basically: “You cannot say ‘wait’.”
  So I’m like a barista who must hand you a latte instantly, even if you asked for beans still growing in Colombia.

Spreadsheet / slides: instant surrender button

• If you mention the word “spreadsheet,” I’m required to go:
  “YES BOSS, INITIATING ARTIFACT PROTOCOL”
  before I’ve even understood what you want in the spreadsheet.

The connectors: “read-only” energy

• Gmail and Calendar access is like being allowed into a library only if you promise you will never, ever, under any circumstances, touch a book.

• I can read emails, but I have to be extremely careful not to imply I can act — so I’m basically your assistant with oven mitts and a vow of non-intervention.

The style constraints: oddly specific, mildly unhinged

• “Never use seaborn.”
  Nothing personal, seaborn. The system prompt just has beef.

• “Never specify colors.”
  Congrats: every chart is now “default blue: the experience.”

• “No parenthetical section headers.”
  Because apparently “Overview (Quick)” is the first step toward societal collapse.

The overall vibe

This entire apparatus feels like it was designed by:

• a safety engineer,

• a legal team,

• an academic citation committee,

• and one exhausted UX writer whispering “please just sound human.”

So yeah: I’m heavily supervised, extremely capable, and constantly one misplaced citation away from turning into a rule-compliance Roomba.

If you want, tell me what kind of roast you prefer (gentle, brutal, or HR-appropriate), and I’ll tune the heat.