What role does empathy play in your life and how has it helped you? Empathy helps me connect with people around, understand where they are coming from, and to be kind. It also helps deepen my existing connections. I have learned so much about my friends when I listened and let them know I am here for them. I have a close friend who has a very hard outer shell, and some people perceive her as harsh and standoffish. But because I accepted her for who she is, throughout the years, we opened up to each other and became best friends. It all happened because of our ability to listen and emphasize.
How does empathy help you build better software? Neuroscientists have confirmed what we’ve all experienced: listening empathetically enhances your ability to receive information. When we listen, we are able to get to the core of the idea. Empathy not only sets the ground for communication among software developers and other stakeholders, it also aids in hearing what is not said. In one of the articles, the author described the situation where the users were so grateful for the product they already had that they didn't want to think further and felt uncomfortable asking for any additional improvements. An empathetic listener will be able to identify these situations and build a better product.
Why is empathy important for working on a team? Empathy is important for working on a team because it gives the opportunity for everyone to speak up and not miss a brilliant idea. Some people do not feel comfortable speaking up in certain settings; I can relate to that to some degree. Empathy gives an opportunity to exchnage feedback. High degree of empathy to understand each other’s perspectives allows to effectively integrate feedback and, as a result, build a great product together.
Describe a situation in which your ability to empathize with a colleague or teammate was helpful. In the past, I worked with a colleague that has been at the company for 19 years, which nowadays is unheard of in oil and gas. Interestingly, she held the same responsibilities during this whole period. Without too much thinking or asking her why she does not have more leadership at the company by now, I decided to myself that she is comfortable at her job and does not have aspirations to grow and take on more tasks. There is nothing wrong with being content with what you have, but it defined my relationship with this colleague in a way that all my projects stayed with me and I kept taking on more responsibilities without thinking whether someone else would want to too.
As it turns out, my colleague was not content at all. As we got to know each other, eventually she shared several stories with me of how she fought for herself in the past and was told to do more, more, more. Being a minority did not help her easily get to where she wanted to be in her career. At some point, after working hard for years, staying extra hours, completing all necessary educational courses, and checking all the marks, she gave up. She lost her voice and never spoke up again. It was heart-breaking for me to hear.
After that encounter, I spent more hours with her talking about projects, responsibilities she already had and how we could reframe them for her to receive any recognition at the company. She was so grateful, and it made me incredibly happy. This interaction taught me how to be careful with placing labels on people and how to be kind and empathetic. It is impossible to have deep connections with every single person coming in and out of our lives so certain labeling is inevitable, but it is possible to be empathetic with everyone. All we have to do is listen, put yourself in someone else's shoes, and help.
When do you find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings? How can you improve your skills when faced with these scenarios? I find it most difficult to be empathetic in a professional setting when people complain and don't want to change anything. For example, someone will complain about a task being difficult, I will provide them with a solution, but they don't want to listen and refuse to be helped. When I see that people just want to complain to complain, I do not want to help them anymore and shut off.
A kind approach in these situations would be to give people time. Sometimes, a person just needs to vent and is not ready to accept help. Sometimes it's not about help at all. I think emotional empathy is the key in situations like this and I can definitely improve my skills in that regard.