chriswillx-thoughts.md

Here is a list of thoughts that almost everyone has, but thinks that no one else has...

I'm terrified that momentum is more important than talent, and I lost mine.
I need to choose between partners I fear but am excited by and those I feel safe but bored with.
My parents did the best they could, and I'm still quietly angry about it.

Most of what I think I "know" is borrowed confidence.

I read to feel informed and impress people, not to change.

I mistake familiarity for truth.

My opinions align suspiciously well with the people whose approval I want.

I don't know how to stop striving without disappearing.

My emotions feel like a personal malfunction, this can't be the way other people experience them.

I'm calm only because nothing is being truly demanded of me right now.

I'm more alone than I let on.

I oscillate between craving safety and craving danger, I am never settled.

I have set a high standard for myself that others expect from me but I can no longer meet.

I use productivity to give my life meaning because it has none without it.

I'm scared my best sexual experiences are already behind me.

Other people know what they're doing, I'm just pretending.

I'm afraid this is as good as it gets.

I don't actually know what I like.

Wanting more makes me feel ungrateful.

I'm carrying grief and I don't know how to get rid of it.

Someone is mad at me. I don't know who or why, but I know someone is mad at me.

I confuse intensity with meaning.

I confuse comfort with failure.

I secretly feel satisfied when other people fail because it makes me feel less behind.

I'm only valued for what I produce.

I'm secretly more fragile than Hook.

One wrong decision will permanently ruin everything.

I should have figured this out by now.

I peaked earlier than I want to admit.

If people really knew me, they'd leave.

I need to become someone else to deserve love.

Other people are more suited to life than I am.

I missed the moment when things were meant to click.

I'm too late to change.

I'm too early to stop striving.

There's something fundamentally different about me and it's breaking my life.

I don't know whether I'm being patient or avoiding my life.

I'm waiting for permission that isn't coming.

My sexual desires are shameful and would repel people if revealed.