Jersey Mikes

jersey-mikes.js

#!/usr/bin/env node

// generate Jersey Mikes

const uniq = (arr) => [...new Set(arr)];

const sample = (arr) => arr[Math.floor(Math.random() * arr.length)];

const names = uniq([
  ...["Jim", "Jimmy"],
  "John",
  ...["Rob", "Bob"],
  "Mike",
  ...["Will", "Bill", "Billy"],
  "Dave",
  ...["Rich", "Dick"],
  ...["Charlie", "Chuck"],
  "Joe",
  ...["Tom", "Tommy"],
  "Chris",
  "Dan",
  "Paul",
  "Mark",
  "Don",
  "George",
  "Ken",
  "Steve",
  "Ed",
  "Brian",
  "Ron",
  "Tony",
  "Kevin",
  "Jason",
  "Matt",
  "Gary",
  "Tim",
  "José",
  "Larry",
  "Jeff",
  "Frank",
  "Scott",
  "Eric",
  "Steve",
  ...["Andy", "Drew"],
  "Ray",
  "Greg",
  "Josh",
  "Jerry",
  "Dennis",
  ...["Walt", "Walter"],
  "Pat",
  "Pete",
  "Harold",
  "Doug",
  ...["Hank", "Henry"],
  "Carl",
  ...["Art", "Arthur"],
  "Ryan",
  "Roger",
  "Joe",
  "Juan",
  "Jack",
  "Al",
  "Jon",
  "Justin",
  "Terry",
  "Jerry",
  "Keith",
  "Sam",
  "Willie",
  "Ralph",
  "Larry",
  "Nick",
  "Roy",
  "Ben",
  "Bruce",
  "Brandon",
  "Adam",
  "Harry",
  "Fred",
  "Wayne",
  "Billy",
  "Steve",
  "Louie",
  "Jeremy",
  "Aaron",
  "Randy",
  "Howard",
  ...["Gene", "Eugene"],
  "Carlos",
  "Russ",
  "Bobby",
  "Victor",
]);

const states = uniq(
  [
    "Alabama",
    "Alaska",
    "Arizona",
    "Arkansas",
    "California",
    "Colorado",
    "Connecticut",
    "Delaware",
    "Florida",
    "Georgia",
    "Hawaii",
    "Idaho",
    "Illinois",
    "Indiana",
    "Iowa",
    "Kansas",
    "Kentucky",
    "Louisiana",
    "Maine",
    "Maryland",
    "Massachusetts",
    "Michigan",
    "Minnesota",
    "Mississippi",
    "Missouri",
    "Montana",
    "Nebraska",
    "Nevada",
    "New Hampshire",
    ...["Jersey", "New Jersey"],
    "New Mexico",
    "New York",
    "North Carolina",
    "North Dakota",
    "Ohio",
    "Oklahoma",
    "Oregon",
    "Pennsylvania",
    "Rhode Island",
    "South Carolina",
    "South Dakota",
    "Tennessee",
    "Texas",
    "Utah",
    "Vermont",
    "Virginia",
    "Washington",
    "West Virginia",
    "Wisconsin",
    "Wyoming",
  ].map((state) => state.replace("North ", "").replace("South ", ""))
);

Array.from({ length: 5 }).forEach(() => {
  const state = sample(states);
  const name = sample(names);
  return console.log(`${state} ${name}'s Subs`);
});

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