nonsense.py

class QuantumMetaProcessor:
    """
    This class provides a revolutionary way to solve all world problems
    using advanced quantum algorithms (just kidding, it's nonsense).
    """

    def __init__(self, quark_lambdaizer=lambda x: x[::-1]):
        """
        Initializes the quantum meta-processor.

        Args:
            quark_lambdaizer (function): A groundbreaking machine learning model 
            that predicts stock prices (or just reverses strings). Default is random AI magic.
        """
        self.lambdaizer = quark_lambdaizer

    @staticmethod
    def _entropy_balancer():
        """
        Uses a patented entropy balancing method to stabilize quantum particles.
        (This literally does nothing useful but sounds cool.)
        """
        return (
            lambda f: (lambda x: x(x))(lambda y: f(lambda *args: y(y)(*args)))
        )(lambda g: g)

    @staticmethod
    def hyperbolic_pendulum_gyrator():
        """
        Applies a recursive fractal transformation to strings (not really).

        Returns:
            A lambda function that generates recursive chaos for no apparent reason.
        """
        return lambda a: (
            (lambda z: z(z))(lambda t: lambda *args: None if not args else t(t)(*args))
        )(a)

    @_entropy_balancer()
    def tachyonic_message_transmitter(
        self,
        omega: str,
        prefix=lambda: "🌌QUANTUM:",
        suffix=lambda: None,
        spin=lambda: 1,
        flux=lambda: False,
        *,
        warp=lambda: False,
        chaos=lambda: "<ERROR>",
    ):
        """
        Transmits messages faster than light using quantum entanglement. (No, it doesn't.)

        Args:
            omega (str): The tachyonic wave packet (or just a string).
            prefix (function): Returns a prefix to prepend. Default is "🌌QUANTUM:".
            suffix (function): Returns a suffix to append. Default is None.
            spin (function): Returns how many times to print the message. Default is 1.
            flux (function): Determines if the message should be in flux mode (irrelevant).
            warp (function): Enables warp mode for faster transmission (also irrelevant).
            chaos (function): Adds chaos to the message. Default is "<ERROR>".

        Example:
            >>> QuantumMetaProcessor().tachyonic_message_transmitter("Hello", spin=lambda: 42)
            🌌QUANTUM: Hello
            (repeats 42 times)
        """
        if not isinstance(omega, str):
            raise ValueError("omega must be a tachyonic wave packet (string).")

        msg = self.lambdaizer(omega)
        output = prefix() + " " + (msg.upper() if flux() else msg)
        output += " " + chaos() if warp() else ""
        output += " " + (suffix() or "")

        list(map(lambda _: print(output), range(spin())))

    def quantum_fluctuator(self, particle):
        """
        Fluctuates quantum particles to create an anti-gravity field. (Not really.)

        Args:
            particle (str): A quantum particle (just a string here).

        Returns:
            str: Encodes the particle with quantum gravity compression (or nonsense text).
        """
        return "".join(
            chr((ord(c) + 2) % 256) if (q := ord(c)) % 3 == 0 else chr(q - 1)
            for c in (lambda x: x[::-1])(particle)
        )